So for over a year, I’ve had an herbal detox kit in my liquor cupboard (where else, after all do you keep a detox kit – hmmmm…. scotch? Rum? Detox?). It taunts me each time I open that cupboard, which isn’t as often as all that – those that follow me on twitter probably know that I’m a pretty committed craft beer drinker. However, there it is, taunting me still, every time I open that cupboard above the stove. Like with many things, for many (or most) people, there is always a reason why I should wait. There was always some travel or some other sort of hold-out reason to not start right now. Finally, I had decided that enough was enough – I wanted to step back on how I was eating and get back to eating much “cleaner” than I have been the last while – and I like to hold the illusion that I eat cleaner than most people normally. I’d already read the “recommended foods” that were a part of the package, and the curiosity and the unsettled nature of my feelings towards how I was eating were getting to me. So on Sunday I went to the grocery store, loaded up primarily in the vegetable and bulk foods aisles, and went home to have a final “last meal” – along with a final beer, of course.
The detox kit I had purchased is the “Wild Rose Herbal D-tox”, and places both feet very firmly in my “oh-dear-lord-hippie-dippie-skeptic” arena. However, the diet certainly looked like something I could accommodate, and despite my misgivings on any program that espouses vigilance in avoiding certain types of food, always, I elected to forgo both dairy and most grains for the 12 days. It’s fine. I can manage. I think.
Let me admit now before I say anything else that I miss yogurt. And milk. And breads. And cheese. And cereal. And granola. Oooohhhh and peanut butter, oh so much.
I started the detox the night before by cooking up a large batch of red quinoa and red lentils (mixed) to use over the next few days, and while I made my meal of pork and bell pepper kabobs, I also grilled a large piece of salmon. This proved to be quite a bit of forethought on my mind, which I’m not necessarily known for. I also had some leftover kabobs (both beef and pork) that met the requirements of the diet, and that were tasty to boot. So prep-wise, with the groceries and a bit of precooking, I was set.
I reviewed the kit again and was disappointed that I had bought a couple of things that are not on the “approved list” (the worst offender being grapes, which I was hoping to make into a great snack). Ah well, such is life. I reviewed the instructions on what to take (2 of each of the 3 types of pills and two “squirts” from the bottle with the eye-dropper). It was then that I read what each one of them does.
- Clensaherb – cleanses the bloodstream, ridding muscle and lymphatic system tissue of toxic waste material and metabolic by-products
- Biliherb – stimulates bile production by the liver and its release from the gallbladder
- Laxaherb – has a cleansing or natural “laxative” effect upon the intestinal tract *shudder*
- CL Extract – designed to provide a cleansing of the body
Whatever my misgivings about any of this, I’m going to give it a whirl. Thank god it allows for red meat!
(Yup, I’ll be boring y’all with 12 days of detox (I could have called it something else…) so stay tuned…
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